San Juan, Puerto Rico

Lisbon charm + Miami heat + rainforest realness

👉👀👯‍♀️ Check out our post on instagram @twintolerant for more photos of our trip!

After endlessly scrolling for a “get us out of the USA for a major holiday weekend, stat” escape, we finally landed a last-minute Memorial Day Weekend deal to Puerto Rico. Still technically a U.S. territory (no passport needed), but new-to-us and far enough from real life to feel like an actual getaway. ✈️

And let us tell you—Puerto Rico did not disappoint. The charm of Lisbon, the heat of Miami, and a full-on real-life rainforest vibe that felt straight out of a theme restaurant (except not cheesy—just lush). Palm trees, pastel buildings, winding cobblestone streets, and that salty, tropical breeze that instantly makes your shoulders drop. The energy? Magic. The vibe? Editorial. The sweat and wind? Constant.

Now, onto the real mission: food. San Juan was gorgeous, colorful, and had lots of culinary options—just not ones that necessarily loved us back. Finding safe eats was trickier than expected—but when we struck gold, we really struck gold.

💡Twintolerant Tips: The Discover Puerto Rico website is an amazing resource — Check it out!

Activity Highlights:

In addition to wandering the colorful streets and charming shops of Old San Juan (a must!), we highly recommend renting a car and heading east for a day trip into the lush, wild beauty of El Yunque National Forest. Even if you’re not a full-on nature lover, a hike through this rainforest, a few hours of zip-lining, and/or even a stop at nearby Luquillo Beach is the perfect change of pace from exploring the city.

Wanting to push ourselves out of our comfort zone — a requirement for our adventure bucket-list, we booked a zip-lining excursion early in the week. But just a day before, we got the dreaded call: closed due to incoming rain. Total buzzkill. Thankfully, with a little persistence and a lot of Googling, we found a last-minute spot with a company inside El Yunque National Forest—and snagged two open slots like it was fate — Zip-lining (Rain Forest Zip Line Corp).

The actual experience? Wild. We got caught in a full-blown rainforest downpour, which somehow made the whole thing even more magical. One minute we were climbing up to the first platform, the next we were soaring over treetops, soaked to the bone, cackling because of course we were in a downpour in the rain forest. Classic irony. It was like the rainforest welcomed us with its own dramatic flair. If you're looking for a core memory in Puerto Rico, this one's it.

💡Twintolerant Tips: Always carry an umbrella—always. Puerto Rico’s rain doesn’t RSVP. One minute it's sunny, the next you're in a full rainforest downpour (true story). Stay cute and dry.

Spa at Condado Vanderbilt Hotel ​​

With the tropical sun turning up the heat and our bodies needing to beat the heat, we started scoping out spa options to escape the swelter. We weren’t in the mood for just any old massage—we wanted something different, something memorable. Then we saw it: Hammam Experience. Turkish bath. Steam. Bubbles. Ritual. Yes, please. We booked it on the spot.

Let’s be clear—this was not your typical relaxing, drift-off-to-music massage. This was a full-body ritual —restoration, release, and rebirth of the spirit, not just the muscles.

From the moment we stepped into the tiled, steamy room, it felt like we were entering another world. The experience was part sensory deprivation, part deep cleansing, part spa theater. Of course we booked the couples experiences, so there we lay, head to foot on a marble island slab in the middle of the room. Then came the cascading bowls of water—warm, rhythmic, endless. And both of our favorite parts, the clouds of bubbles. Not your average bath foam—we’re talking thick, billowing clouds of soapy magic—think the billowing foam in the Willy Wonka car wash scene. And just when you’re blissed out and slippery, the real work begins.

A spa attendant wrapped in a towel wielded a traditional kese mitt (aka the exfoliating fabric of your deepest self-cleaning dreams) and proceeded to scrub every inch of dead skin off our bodies with the kind of focus that made Gwyneth’s dry brushing routine look like a light dusting.

By the end, we were practically sliding off the marble slab—smooth as butter, dazed, and spiritually ten pounds lighter. It was the kind of experience that doesn’t just leave your skin glowing, but your soul, too.

Would we do it again? In a heartbeat. Preferably monthly.

Verde Mesa

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✍️ GUT - TRUST SCORE (*see Gut-Trust Criteria)

📖 Menu Clarity 5 - Full allergen key + dedicated GF/DF sections.

👩‍🍳 Staff Knowledge & Attitude 5 - Confident, informed, and warm. Allergy angels.

🔄 Substitution Flexibility 3 - Some flexibility but limited options.

❌ Cross-Contamination Awareness 5 - Serious protocols, separate prep areas, GF fryer, etc.

😋 Taste & Presentation 5 - Delicious. Would eat again. Allergy who?

✨ Vibe & Inclusivity 3 - Neutral. You're tolerated.

🍽️ OVERALL Chronically Cautious 🤔 26 - Some awareness, shaky execution — food allergies get a half-hearted seat at the table so ASK YOUR QUESTIONS.

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We made a quick audible to Verde Mesa after a restaurant SNAFU—and what felt like a backup plan quickly turned into one of our favorite meals of the trip. Total blessing in disguise.

We added our name to the list and grabbed a seat on a bench outside, surrounded by other hopeful diners. It was one of those unexpectedly fun waits—soaking in the warm San Juan nightlife, chatting with fellow food lovers, and secretly scouting who was about to get called next. But word to the wise: don’t wander too far. This isn’t a “we’ll text you when your table’s ready” situation. It’s giving DMV energy—miss your name, miss your turn, and your spot (and your meal) goes to the next lucky guests.

Once inside, the vibe was a full-on visual feast: secret garden meets eccentric maximalism. Picture mismatched vintage mirrors, birdcages hanging from the ceiling, glowing mason jars, cherubs peeking from corners, and chandeliers dripping with charm. It felt like stumbling into an enchanted greenhouse curated by someone who lives for a good flea market find.

And the food? A farm-to-table dream. Artfully plated and bursting with flavor. Our options were a bit limited because of the combination of our twintolerant food restrictions, but their signature dish —the Verde Mesa rice — more than delivered—bold, comforting, and packed with layered flavor. We scraped the plate clean and savored every last grain. Bangin’. 

Would we go back? In a heartbeat. Would we order two plates next time? Don’t ask silly questions.

💡 Twintolerant Tip: They have a fully dedicated vegan menu

Marmalade 

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✍️ GUT - TRUST SCORE (*see Gut-Trust Criteria)

📖 Menu Clarity 5 - Full allergen key + dedicated GF/DF sections.

👩‍🍳 Staff Knowledge & Attitude 5 - Confident, informed, and warm. Allergy angels.

🔄 Substitution Flexibility 5 - Full customization + thoughtful alternatives.

❌ Cross-Contamination Awareness 5 - Serious protocols, separate prep areas, GF fryer, etc.

😋 Taste & Presentation 5 - Delicious. Would eat again. Allergy who?

✨ Vibe & Inclusivity 5 - You're seen, accommodated, and celebrated.

🍽️ OVERALL Chronically Cautious 🤔 30 - Some awareness, shaky execution — food allergies get a half-hearted seat at the table so ASK YOUR QUESTIONS.

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As a standard Twintolerant protocol, Kristin [the “Handler” of the family, as dubbed by her grandfather] did what she always does before any “fancy” meal: she called ahead. Not just to ask the usual “Can you accommodate gluten and lactose allergies?” but to gauge the energy. The tone. The vibe. Could they really handle us—our allergy list and our questions —and still deliver a five-course prix fixe that felt like an experience, not a workaround?

To her surprise, the person on the other end didn’t miss a beat. “Absolutely.” “No problem.” Not just polite—confident. Kristin hung up the phone with a rare level of excitement: This might actually be legit.

So we got dressed. Overdressed, honestly—but that’s how we roll. And from the moment we walked into Marmalade, we could feel it: this wasn’t going to be a night of compromise.

The vibe? Moody, and modern without trying too hard. Think: underlit tables, lush greenery dripping from the ceiling, and a long, communal table down the middle of the restaurant where everyone looked like someone you’d want to follow on Instagram. Effortless cool. Vacation goals.

And the food? Dangerously good. Like, “we might actually lick the plate” good. Each course was not only safe but intentional—flavor-packed, beautifully plated, and delivered with such confidence that we almost forgot we had food allergies at all.

By course four, we were full, euphoric, and low-key debating whether we could rally for dessert.

Then it arrived. A gelato trio: praline, double chocolate, and pumpkin-chamomile. Beautiful. Cold. Creamy. All lactose-free and gluten-free.

Praline?!?!—Kristin stopped breathing for a second. Her favorite ice cream as a kid. A flavor she hadn’t had since 8th grade (only… a few years ago, let’s say). One bite, and she traveled back in time. She nearly cried. Not dramatically—genuinely. It was one of those full-circle, “holy shit I missed this” moments that makes food feel like magic, silently wishing she could smuggle a pint home in her purse.

We sat there, silently spooning, slightly stunned. Not because it was good (we’ve had good), but because it was safe, indulgent, nostalgic, and delicious all at once. The kind of food that reminds you what you’ve been missing—and why you keep looking. 

By the end of the meal, we weren’t just satisfied—we were glowing. Floating through the streets of Old San Juan—totally, blissfully unbothered by our usual food fears.

🍸 Bonus Sip Stop: Make a pit stop at La Sibarita in Condado for a chic cocktail nightcap. Intimate, vibey, and a perfect close to a food lover’s night out.